“Hey there buddy~”

Y/n’s fox ears twitched at that voice that flowed like a stream, almost cheekily to them. Their eyes locked onto the green bear leaning on the corridor walls.

“Ectobear.”

Ectobear raised an eyebrow. “Not excited to see me?” He asked, now with a curious tone and a look of mock confusion. “Strange, most of the others would squeal at the mere thought of me using the special nickname. You not like other people?” Y/n simply huffed at him. It was five minutes before class started, and they did not need a green-furred nice guy trying to tail her. “Go to your Physics class or something, leave me alone, bear.” 

But instead of backing off, Ecto instead went forward and slammed their left paw next to the wall behind Y/n “What about we….I don’t know, go to my place and hold hands?” He drawled with emphasis on their intense Rizz, which elicited a blush to form on Y/n’s cheeks and ears. With a slight squeak and a hard shove, they, much to Ecto’s surprise, managed to push his arm off the wall, quickly ducking under and racing to class.

“Stupid, stupid, bear…” they muttered, the blush deepening. “Stupid teasing voice, stupid charming smile, lovely handsome face, fluffy green fur…”

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

I wrote this short snippet mostly as a joke towards stereotypical self-insert fanfiction, where characters are portrayed as brooding, seductive edgelords towards the insert of the reader. Of course, I know there’s nothing wrong with harmless fantasies of bad-boys sweeping you off your feet, I just thought it would be funny to write something of parody quality.

Every joke has a hint of truth, however. There is a level of meta-commentary I noticed some time after the writing had concluded. Considering that Ectobear is my online persona, I had in fact, actually written self-insert fanfiction where both love interests represented myself, whether it be by reading of by the fact that Ectobear is me. And really, I do feel that there is a level of subconscious sincerity in the writing. Ectobear is utterly out-of-character, a charismatic playboy with rabid fan girls rather than an awkward, confused teen. At the time, I was struggling with social anxiety and did my best to keep out of the way of others. It puts into perspective my own desire to be a magnet for attention. Not romantic, but platonic.

In conclusion, a silly poke at self-insert fanfiction really was just an excuse to write out fantasy scenarios that were unattainable. I had become what I was making fun of even before I had completed the entire joke.